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"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness"
Proverbs 31:26 |
Respectful Communication
Tips for respectful interactions:
1-Say 'Hi!'-while it might seem cliche, many nonverbal and limited verbal individuals are ignored or only talked to in commands. Acknowledging they exist can make a world of difference. Many will not make eye contact or respond (including in a 'typical' way). Still greet them. Teach their peers and others to say 'hi,' instead of 'don't stare.'
2-Talk in a normal tone of voice- while many may act younger than their age or don't look at you when you talk, talking in a high-pitched or baby voice can confuse them about their age, make it difficult for them to act age appropriately, and therefore develop the appropriate social skills. Additionally, it can be insulting or hurtful to talk in a high-pitched/baby voice.
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Talk to them about what you are learning, about life, as if they are going to respond. This helps to develop friendships. When talking in groups, make room for them and help them be included even if they aren't verbally responding. Here is an example of conversing like he will respond back verbally even though he can't:
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3-Let the individual speak for him/herself. Where possible let each individual communicate about herself. When that isn't possible, look at him and look for signs of approval or disapproval when you are 'voicing' for him. Talk to the individual NOT about them.
4-Observe facial expressions and body language to get confirmation of understanding, approving or disapproving. Look for a brightening or dimming of the face. Others will not be able to make the correct facial expressions they desire. You will come to learn the unique body language of the individuals if you respond to and look for it.
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5-Plan for their participation with the rest of the class members. Sometimes it is important to go to the individual first and be accepting before you ask the individual to come to you. Many individuals are more willing/desirous and capable of participating with the group than you or they may realize. For example, learning doesn't have to take place in a chair or in complete silence. Some learn best fidgeting with an object or coloring while they listen.
6-Have expectations that each follows rules. Everyone can improve. While some will not be able to sit for a whole hour, each can improve the amount of time he can sit. Some will eventually be able to. Be direct and clear about expectations and follow through. Discuss these expectations and rules with the parents so that you can be understanding, but make progress. Teach the individual how to handle herself in public.
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“A person who is severely impaired never knows his hidden sources of strength until he is treated like a normal human being and encourage to shape his own life.” — Helen Keller |
7-Believe in yourself and be patient with yourself. Most interacting with individuals with disabilities have no training. It is ok that you make mistakes or possibly feel inadequate sometimes. Believe in your ability to improve and keep the Savior in mind in remembering his love and appreciation for you in your efforts to serve and love each individuals you serve. As you believe in and are patient with yourself, you will better be able to serve others.
8-Be aware of an individual being thirsty, hungry, or shows signs of needing the bathroom. Some signs of needing the bathroom room can be a sudden restlessness. One might grab someone's drink if available. Offer chances to get water, particularly if they are with you for a while. You can also ask them using choices (see the 'TEACH' portion for how to deliver choices). Discuss with the individual and parent what are the different indicators of each of these needs and the way in which to best help the individual communicate the needs. Initiating a request is an issue many individuals with disabilities struggle with.
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"I THINK THAT (in) AUTISM, IS ALSO AN ATTITUDE AFFECTING A LOT OF PEOPLE AT CHURCH. THEY THINK THAT AUTISM IS A REASON TO IGNORE ALL THE PEOPLE LIKE ME. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE DOING TO HELP THIS! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE DOING TO HELP ALL THE PEOPLE LIKE ME." -Jaedon, Age 18, New York |
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